By Margaret Anna Alice
Are you wondering if it’s a good idea to give your kid the covid shot? I know there’s an ocean of mis/dis/mal/information out there to navigate, so I’ve compiled this handy list of reasons you’ll want to rush your child to the nearest injection site stat.
50 Reasons to Give Your Child the Covid Shot (Satire Alert)
1) Your child wants to play a real-life guinea pig.
2) You’re too busy to research the potential risks of a novel gene therapy that lacks long-term safety data.
3) You weighed the zero-mortality rate and microscopic risks of serious complications from COVID to children and thought, why not increase the likelihood of being hospitalized by 74 percent, being injured by twenty-five times, and dying by twenty times?
4) You’d like to boost your child’s chances of catching COVID—multiple times.
5) You want to downgrade your child’s natural immunity to antibody-dependent enhancement.
6) You think keeping your child’s vaxxport up-to-date with the latest injection (Germany is encouraging every ninety days—as is Canada) will circumvent the need for masking.
7) You believe informed consent is passé.
8) You Trust The Experts™—not science.
9) You think life is boring and want to spice it up with some tragedy.
10) You’d like to add to the 54,697 adverse event reports received for children (out of 1,394,703 reports) through August 26, 2022, for conditions such as encephalitis, Bell’s palsy, aneurysms, cerebral hemorrhage, myocarditis, thrombocytopenia, Guillain-Barré syndrome, appendicitis, heart disease, and death.
11) You wish your child could enjoy a life of chronic illness from a progressively damaged immune system.
12) You think your toddler would benefit from periodic seizures.
13) You believe less than a month of efficacy after the second dose is worth giving your teen myocarditis.
14) You would like to go bankrupt covering the medical bills the government is shielding pharmaceutical companies from.
15) You want to keep protecting manufacturers from liability once their emergency use authorizations expire thanks to Reagan’s 1986 National Childhood Vaccine Act, which gives them a pass as long as the product is administered to kids.
16) You think it would be fun if your child developed turbo cancer.
17) You believe becoming paralyzed from the waist down and relying on a feeding tube like Maddie de Garay would be a good life lesson for your kid.
18) You’d like your child to go from looking like this to this.
19) You wish you could feel like this father did after his son got vaxx-induced myocarditis, which comes with a five-year life expectancy.
20) You want your child to experience the adventure of a heart attack.
21) You think playing Russian Roulette with your child’s life is exciting and are already planning the funeral.
22) You want casket manufacturers to sell even more bulk orders of child-sized coffins so they can surpass the 400-percent increase since December 2021 reported by one North American company.
23) You want your child to wind up like three-year-old Ámbar Suárez, thirteen-year-old Jacob Clynick, nineteen-year-old Simone Scott, seventeen-year-old Sean Hartman, and sixteen-year-old Ernesto Ramirez Jr. so you don’t have to worry about paying for college or any other expenses associated with being alive.
24) You think you could use a good, lifelong cry like this Trinidad mom who lost her son.
25) You feel the government has the right to sacrifice your child for the “greater good.”
26) You think Denmark’s decision to stop injecting children based on the data is recklessly scientific.
27) You’re cool with medical tyranny.
28) You’ve decided it’s easier to believe the Big Lie than to acknowledge it’s occurring and do something about it.
29) You’re terrified of being branded the enemy.
30) You’d rather endanger your child than be called an anti-vaxxer, science-denier, conspiracy theorist, or right-wing extremist.
31) You feel it’s more important for your child to fit in at school than to be healthy or alive.
32) You’re positive pharmaceutical corporations would never lie; commit fraud; manipulate research findings; skew clinical trials; keep deadly products on the market; blackmail governments; or bribe, bully, and pressure others into covering up their crimes.
33) You believe everything the media tells you, even though three-quarters of their advertising budget comes from the pharmaceutical industry.
34) You also believe their later-retracted smears about a Nobel Prize–winning medication that would have negated the demand for the billion-dollar injectables because it reduces COVID mortality by 92 percent.
35) You think Big Bird is a more reliable source than the scientist who holds nine patents on mRNA technology.
36) You don’t care if it turns out your child can’t produce grandchildren.
37) You’re sure Big Tech has your best interests at heart when they threaten, silence, and censor counter-narrative voices at the behest of the government and megacorporations.
38) You trust the government more than the million or so scientists, physicians, researchers, whistleblowers, data analysts, statisticians, cats, and other knowledgeable individuals risking their careers, grant monies, reputations, and quiet lives to expose corruption, harm, and the lethal consequences of the experimental injections.
39) You’re certain the agencies that make billions from reviewing, approving, and recommending these injections would never prioritize their profits over your child’s life.
40) You don’t think there’s anything sinister about the WHO attempting to seize one-world dictatorial powers for its unelected almost-certainly-a-war-criminal director-general.
41) You don’t care that Pfizer manipulated its clinical trial data for children to secure FDA approval or that the FDA tried to prevent the public from viewing Pfizer’s clinical trial data for seventy-five years.
42) You can never be fooled too many times.
43) You succumbed to the “greatest psychological fear campaign in human history.”
44) You would rather gain the acceptance of your peers than avoid traumatizing your child.
45) You believe intellectual curiosity, critical thinking, and the willingness to question are dangerous qualities that should be stigmatized and discouraged.
46) You think your child is expendable and can be replaced if something goes wrong.
47) You’d prefer to remain bamboozled than admit you’ve failed your child.
48) You “reject the evidence of your eyes and ears” because you are a faithful Covidian.
49) You want to help the colluders fulfill the philanthropaths’ and tyrants’ dreams.
50) You don’t think your child is worth fighting for.
See the original post here: https://margaretannaalice.substack.com/p/50-reasons-to-give-your-child-the